Did you know this is the 800th anniversary of the Magna Carta? - heard something about it on the radio recently. Possibly the most important constutional document in the history of humans. Before it came into being apparently those in power could more or less make up the rules as they went along.
This household needs a magna carta. I was meant to be the one in power but the household staff are getting above themselves, and some of my rights are not being respected.
The problem is OUT. I recognize that human word now ... as in 'I'm just going OUT', meaning 'You're just going OUT now too.' There were one or two narrow places I could dash into if I was quick enough, but they've blocked them up. Or Mr B says that word and then catches me sneaking quietly towards the stairs (there are more hiding places under the beds upstairs.)
He stopped saying 'OUT', but there are other clues: he puts his shoes on. He puts his shoes on sitting at the bottom of the stairs. That's a dead giveaway. Trouble is that I can't shoot past him up the stairs because he has worked out that I'm going to do it.
Well if I can't hide, I've tried playing dead, or dead asleep. I even put my paws over my eyes, over my ears. It doesn't work. He still finds me.
This is what I mean about changing the rules as they go along. The next change was that without warning I would find myself swept up and bundled unceremoniously out the back door - no OUT word, no 'shoes ritual'. F at least runs me past a mirror so I can check my 'hair-do' before I go out. She laughs that I always scowl. Well of course I scowl, I know what's coming next: - pow, out in the cold.
Mr B just puts me out and closes the door.
I'm onto that now: put me out one door, lock it, go through the house, put on his shoes and come out the other door beside the car. It's no challenge to saunter through the Tigger Door in the fence and be waiting outside the other house door to dash in between his feet as he comes out.
Mr B has started calling this game the 'Tigger Race'. He caught me out today by putting shoes on when I wasn't looking, so after putting me out the back he ran through the house and out the side before I'd made it round there.
Somehow I get the feeling this is a race I am not going to be allowed to win.
This household needs a magna carta. I was meant to be the one in power but the household staff are getting above themselves, and some of my rights are not being respected.
The problem is OUT. I recognize that human word now ... as in 'I'm just going OUT', meaning 'You're just going OUT now too.' There were one or two narrow places I could dash into if I was quick enough, but they've blocked them up. Or Mr B says that word and then catches me sneaking quietly towards the stairs (there are more hiding places under the beds upstairs.)
He stopped saying 'OUT', but there are other clues: he puts his shoes on. He puts his shoes on sitting at the bottom of the stairs. That's a dead giveaway. Trouble is that I can't shoot past him up the stairs because he has worked out that I'm going to do it.
Well if I can't hide, I've tried playing dead, or dead asleep. I even put my paws over my eyes, over my ears. It doesn't work. He still finds me.
This is what I mean about changing the rules as they go along. The next change was that without warning I would find myself swept up and bundled unceremoniously out the back door - no OUT word, no 'shoes ritual'. F at least runs me past a mirror so I can check my 'hair-do' before I go out. She laughs that I always scowl. Well of course I scowl, I know what's coming next: - pow, out in the cold.
Mr B just puts me out and closes the door.
I'm onto that now: put me out one door, lock it, go through the house, put on his shoes and come out the other door beside the car. It's no challenge to saunter through the Tigger Door in the fence and be waiting outside the other house door to dash in between his feet as he comes out.
Mr B has started calling this game the 'Tigger Race'. He caught me out today by putting shoes on when I wasn't looking, so after putting me out the back he ran through the house and out the side before I'd made it round there.
Somehow I get the feeling this is a race I am not going to be allowed to win.
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