Today Janice over at JABBLOG blogged about being 'fed up'. It made me take stock a bit. I HAVE been out of sorts lately - short tempered, intolerant, quick to take offence...
I have never suffered fools gladly, but the fuse seems to have got even shorter this month. It's tough on Mr B. He has been a bit like a puppy that can't work out what it has done wrong.
Must make amends.
That means sorting out my own head first. Angela once blogged about 'faking it until you make it' - putting on the cheerful face until it actually is your cheerful face. I think I know what she means - you have got to want to be cheerful for yourself, not just covering up and forcing cheerfulness because everyone else expects it of you - that is a different kind of reason to be disaffected.
Look for glimmers (the opposite to triggers) - and my glimmers are so huge and so prolonged in each day that the short periods of being a misery guts in between them is just me being a misery guts. I am really enjoying the one-a-day drawing meditation. Knitting is great. The patchwork is definitely cheerful. The bird feeders are well attended and provide hours of entertainment. I even got a last minute place in the Pilates class this evening. Portsmouth Water have even been to repair their leaking pipework at the bottom of our drive, and we were surprised to discover that they have a 'night-shift' of workers so that repairs can go on round the clock. They arrived in front of our place (within 48 hours of Mr B reporting the leak) at 1930, came up for a chat about making a hole at the bottom of the drive, repaired the broken pipe, back filled the hole, put a fancy plate over it and were gone about half an hour later. Today the day gang came and removed the old 'spoil' and re-tarmacked.
How's that for cheerful efficiency?
The season is a bit damp but I have all the right clothes and footwear. I'm mourning the sensible decision to relinquish the allotment. Sensible is not always what the heart wants. I have cleared the greenhouse and brought all the potted bulbs up to the house to be planted out to brighten up the spring garden. A few veg remain to be eaten over the next few weeks. It is all ready to be planted out again so doesn't need to be handed over early for the 'big clean-up' that many relinquished plots have to undergo.
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| Cheerful patchwork fabric |
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| Knitting progresses |
I think I have to stop stressing about environmental issues - just do my bit and encourage others to do likewise. It is in the nature of species to thrive beyond the capacity of their environment to support them and then undergo population crash. Just a pity we will take so much else with us on the way out. Earth will recover - it has done it before and for a few more million years things will thrive until another species like us buggars it all up again.
That's no reason to be miserable is it?
I can understand you having second thoughts about giving up your allotment Tigger's Mum. I have my very own private allotment/smallholding but I still mise the camaraderie of allotment holders. There's still plenty you grow in containers and growing bags at home. I once grew potatoes in a big plant pot in flat window in England and they tasted great.
ReplyDeleteWell, just like Ian Drury, there are many Reasons To Be Cheerful...
ReplyDeletehttps://youtu.be/CIMNXogXnvE?feature=shared
You gave up the allotment? Yes, that will feel like a loss. I felt likewise when I left my community garden, just too much for a solo person with hand tools. But you'll plant elsewhere. Good for you for looking for glimmers.
ReplyDeleteI won't be around to harvest it this year - out in NZ I hope by then setting up a new, forever, (to me) garden and orchard.
DeleteFebruary is often a pretty miserable month in UK and that can't help in shifting the bigger bugs. I loved your comment about Mr B - has he got puppy dog eyes?
ReplyDeleteGiving up the allotment means your move back home to NZ is nearing and that's unsettling, even though anticipated with pleasure and relief, no doubt.
I was thinking about Tigger and his final resting place and wondering if perhaps another furry feline might appear to help relive his earlier days.
More sort of Fred Bassett eyes. A 'next generation' fur friend will have to wait until we are in NZ. That was part of why we didnt go straight from Greece to NZ. Furthermore NZ has a campaign against cats (too many vulnerable avian species - and I get that - and we have chosen to live in a place that is covenanted against having cats) - so dog, rescue dog, senior dog (or dogs)... Mr T's final resting plzce will be under a small forest i plan to plant out there. His angel will have to forgive us for the dog.
DeleteI don't know your age, but you have described ME during two times in my past life. at 47 the dreaded Menupause hit and mood swims were rampant and lasted 15 years. stopped for 10 and came back. the other time I was feeling like you describe, i went to doctor and blood wordk showed my thyroid needed help. i take a thyroid pill and that helped that time. I also feel like that now and it is caused by STRESS.
ReplyDeletetake your pick, 1 or all 3... you can make yourself feel cheerful. something is causing it. I was a total witch during menopause..
Oh dear. It's never good to head about our blogging friends being out of sorts.
ReplyDeleteTemporary disruption. Normal service will be resumed very soon. It's the February version of March mopes.
DeleteOh yes. We all go through it. I find just not watching the news helps.
ReplyDeleteYour bulbs are about to explode with colour. And I love the bees.
Keep looking for glimmers
‘Reality bites’ - ‘The End is Nigh’ - ‘The Final Countdown’.
ReplyDeleteI really like your Gansey style jumper. The sea colour is very ‘you’ and will be comforting when the days are cool.
Yes - all way too big for any one person to worry about. That jumper is proving to be a challenge but I'll explain that in a blog post.
DeleteHari OM
ReplyDeleteYup, that's "Fearbruary" for ya... ............ it's the longest short month there is, and the dreichest... YAM xx
They say misery loves company. I'm 7 years retired and have I've been miserable for the last 6 months. The weather had been windy, cold, and wet. I'm not as excited about some of the things I've chosen to do as I thought I would be. I have chronic back pain following surgery. I lost my cat but am not in a situation where I can invite another one in.
ReplyDeleteIt's comforting to know others are having a hard time too. Yes, I need to look more intently for glimmers. Spring will help, too. Thanks for sharing.
Lizzie - that was a brave share. Loss and pain get increasingly difficult to manage once we realize that we have passed the peak of our likely recovery time - or are contemplating no full recovery. We had a 'wellbeing' week at work recently and although I (in curmudgeonly fashion) wondered if it was merely a box ticking exercise to be rated good employer, I did attend some of the talks. One reemphasized that 'broad social network' thing. I have a very narrow one, but it seems you don't have to make friends with everyone you pass on the street - even the briefest of mutual acknowledgements can make a difference to our mental state.
DeleteHave you come across the magazine Positive News? My friend gives me her back copies and it really helps to hear good news. Arilx
ReplyDeleteI subscribe to quite a few 'good news' and 'positive action' channels in one way or another - don't mind me I was just doing a grey weather thing (and contemplating all the 'self improvement' shit that I had set my self up with - daily art, writing, yoga, yada yada yada and wondering why I had set my retirement date way off in July instead of next week.
DeleteThat was brave giving up the allotment, don't know if I could give up my garden but sometimes you don't have a choice. Luckily my 4 cats keep out of my vege garden, they probably know I would be quite cross with them if they did their business in it. Hopefully Spring will help to cheer you up, Winter can bring us down as it seems to feel like it's never ending.
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