No Promises

'Overwhelm' is how I have been describing the last few weeks - which seems weird because we are finally getting started on what we came here for - 'to build a home'.

Yesterday, in an effort to feel like I was in control of something I started editing stuff I had bookmarked on instagram - yarn skills, yoga and fitness stuff, build ideas, art, environmental and eco positives, and a pile of scientific stuff including findings in neuroscience.  Reading most of it again I discovered a timely gem - overwhelm can be experienced even when you are attaining your goals; it is rooted in change (whether sought or unsought) that ruptures established routine.

I've always regarded myself as adaptable, capable of adjusting to change; resilient. I've also been sensible enough to realize that change can best be absorbed when some underlying structure remains stable, a touchstone so to speak.

The rug was ripped away here when the temporary living arrangement I worked so hard last year to build, fit out and furnish (the cabin we now refer to as The Library) was officially deemed illegal (despite my having at the outset sought advice and direction from the local council authority's building inspectors) and fines threatened. We have a year to sort ourselves out and while I don't believe we'll attract the fine a year on, it's a Damacles Sword hanging over us. The joy of being well insulated and weatherproof, having a warm dry bed (if not the planned flush toilet and hot shower), dulled somewhat.

Recent heavy rains (even more than last year) have highlighted short-comings in drainage arrangements uphill of us and left me wondering how to cope with intermittent flows that threaten to wash away chunks of the veg garden and drown the house and shed foundation works. 

It's all manageable and in 12 months, sitting by our glowing wood-burning stove in our newly built house, I will have forgotten any of it was ever a problem.  In the meantime the mountains of excavated soil will see mud tracked into every living space as we fight to dry coats and overalls, find places to shuck off muddy boots and keep slip-on shoes clean enough to dash indoors.

Scully remains a constant; delighting all who visit or attempt to pass by. OK delight might be overstating it, but those who delight in kicking a small rugby ball about for an enthusiastic terrier are also treated to displays of her gratitude - 'you may scratch my tummy'.

Pilates teaching coursework is an added pressure I hadn't anticipated. However it's the timing, not the actual teaching. First exam is next week.  The teaching part is fulfilling - students are already reporting feeling the difference in better working postures and relief from postural pain. I'd not sought such reports but receiving them is supportive and fortifying.

Teaching Pilates has also served to cement my place in this community but I must record that as community glue goes, it seems to be women who do all the work.... organizing social gatherings (shared food, film nights in summer, fishing competitions, group work days on community amenities), getting together for gym workouts or Pilates classes, getting together to do regular rounds of predator traps.... one woman even tried to get a MeNZshed up and running! (Oh come on guys... you shouldn't need your wives to organize that for you! To her credit, I later discovered, her husband was recovering from a debilitating stroke and they had hoped to create something to compliment his rehabilitation efforts).

There are no promises that I'll immediately return to regular blog posts but just finding the dopamine to start this one has rewarded me enough to want to try for at least one or two per week. I enjoy making the time to read the blogs I follow (even when I don't contribute comments - maybe I'll just apologize in advance if I comment with an emoji just to let you know I dropped by). Your tales of normal lives lived all around the world and the daily variety AND consistency you report are among the touchstones that form an anchor in times of rapid change.