TIGGER HATES TOOTHPASTE
Referring to myself in the third-person might add emphasis.
Even more than the toothpaste I hate the means of application, the 'getting it inside my mouth'.
It's gluey stuff. It is meant to taste like fish; F said so. However, I bet she just read that off the packet. I can guarantee she's never tasted it. And besides, I don't much like fish at the best of times. I make an exception for human-grade tuna in spring water.
The delivery system started with the brush supplied. They only tried that once. It was so hard you could scrub the rust off old iron with that thing; even F said so. We would have ceased to be friends if that had not gone straight into the bin.
Then there was Mr B's finger. Yuck.
F pioneered the use of a cotton bud. I will tolerate that as long as it does not touch my tongue or the roof of my mouth, but I can see the cotton bud coming and there are some days when I simply don't feel like being 'treated' with toothpaste. It isn't a treat, and the treats they do use to try and buy me back afterwards are just a bribe. I know that, so on days when I'm particularly put-out by toothpaste I refuse to take the bribe.
That shows them.
[F note: ...no skin off our noses, he's had the toothpaste before the bribe is offered so if he refuses the treats he's the only one missing out. The toothpaste ritual is a bit of an indignity, but it spares him a world of mouth pain and the loss of any more teeth, not to mention our investment in dentist bills which could be more pleasingly expended on human-grade tuna in spring water.....]
Referring to myself in the third-person might add emphasis.
Even more than the toothpaste I hate the means of application, the 'getting it inside my mouth'.
It's gluey stuff. It is meant to taste like fish; F said so. However, I bet she just read that off the packet. I can guarantee she's never tasted it. And besides, I don't much like fish at the best of times. I make an exception for human-grade tuna in spring water.
The delivery system started with the brush supplied. They only tried that once. It was so hard you could scrub the rust off old iron with that thing; even F said so. We would have ceased to be friends if that had not gone straight into the bin.
Then there was Mr B's finger. Yuck.
F pioneered the use of a cotton bud. I will tolerate that as long as it does not touch my tongue or the roof of my mouth, but I can see the cotton bud coming and there are some days when I simply don't feel like being 'treated' with toothpaste. It isn't a treat, and the treats they do use to try and buy me back afterwards are just a bribe. I know that, so on days when I'm particularly put-out by toothpaste I refuse to take the bribe.
That shows them.
[F note: ...no skin off our noses, he's had the toothpaste before the bribe is offered so if he refuses the treats he's the only one missing out. The toothpaste ritual is a bit of an indignity, but it spares him a world of mouth pain and the loss of any more teeth, not to mention our investment in dentist bills which could be more pleasingly expended on human-grade tuna in spring water.....]
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