Guest Editor

Errr.

Ummm. Hi.

Hello.

I say, is this thing turned on? You mean I just talk to it? 

Ok.

A couple of months ago while scoping out the neighbourhood, I squeezed under a gate by a collections of bins, and discovered a hedgehog wonderland.  There was a kindly old cat who assured me he wouldn't mess with my explorations.  He also said that a daily helping of his leftover food gets delivered to the garden so I should stick around.

I haven't seen him recently, but I found a terracotta igloo at the top of his garden, so I moved in.  Des Res. Well the interior needs a bit of decorating, you know....a few home comforts...., but in general terms it seems weatherproof.  It is backed into a compost heap, and a human has attempted to pack half a bale of hay around it so it might be warmish in winter, and as he had said, there appears to be regular hand outs of food supplements lying about the nearby grass area. The garden is a bit unkempt (good thing in my view, lots of places to be unseen) and there is loads of compost (which generally means worms, centipedes and yummy stuff like that) so comestibles are in reasonably good supply. 

Every night after I have completed my grid search around the bird feeders, I squeeze back out under the gate and trot off the see my friends.

They have noticed I have put on a little weight....

These pellets are good by the way. What did you say was in them? Insects huh? Have you got any more? What are these crunchy things? Cat biscuits😱?! Actually they're ok, bit crunchy, but ok. I like that mushy meat food best though.

What do you mean everyone wants the meaty food? There's only me and that bat out here in the dark, and he's dashing about catching airborne fresh food.

Oohhhh you mean them? They followed me home. Can you build any more of those igloos?  That big fellow over there has been wooing the little female; lots of huffing going on - she'll be needing an upgrade with extra bedrooms..... I don't want them getting designs on my lodge.

By the way, did you know I like apples? A small helping of melon perhaps or a tomato - I've noticed you have some tomatoes ripening in those hanging baskets I can't reach. You could spare one of those couldn't you?

How was that then? Have I got a future in 'creating content'?

Do guest editors get paid? A little fruit basket perhaps?