Verjus

'I was only away two hours and look at the mess you've made! You can't be left unsupervised.'

Ooo er.

Surveyed the scene: 'Fair point.'

Rampant grapevine from the neighbour's side of the adjoining garages had been threatening to engulf the lot.  Since Old Mike passed away the new owner has done nothing about the state of the 'garden'.  The Egyptian Strawberry tree between their shed and garage has grown so large it has blocked the gap through which the back of the garden was accessible. The tree provided an escape route for the grape vine which now tumbles down from great height and spreads its tendrils into two neighbouring properties swallowing fences, sheds, our garage,....

(And, just to pile on the insult, the inaccessible back garden had become a roof high, gutter blocking, tangle of brambles.)

Mr B had gone house clearing and I was standing about home, hands in pockets, looking for some trouble to get into.  The grapevine on the garage roof just suggested itself.  

Two hours later there was, on the lawn, a pile of tree branches, in the compost bins a much bigger pile of chopped up grapevine, and in the kitchen 6 washbasins full of green grapes.

I was about halfway through extracting green juice from said grapes when Mr B arrived home. Squashing grapes and straining juice is a bit unstructured.

Hangdog look.

Denouement: I have about 10 litres of verjus in the freezer. Last time I extracted some, it began fermenting in the fridge and I don't want to add preservatives so I freeze it in 1 litre buckets.

From bright green when squished, the juice quickly (in seconds) oxidizes to yellowish green, but it's the best ingredient in the world for boiling ham in - that and a bit of mustard.

He might be impertinent about the mess but he won't refuse to eat boiled ham.