Human beds. They are way too big for my perferences. I admit to sneaking onto the top bunk bed when we had them. I liked the height. I used to nap on the spare double in our UK home, but that was because it was taking up a useful place in the sun.
I only sleep on F & Mr Bs bed when they are in it. I try to wait until they are asleep before settling myself in a comfortable and protected spot.
Protected because well you never know what might try to surprise you while you are asleep.
I have two sleeping shapes: round cat and long cat.
There are a few napping shapes, but napping is not serious sleeping. It's just feigned sleep.
Humans use a pillow each and nearly always put their pillows at the same end of the bed. (I say 'nearly always' because F turned herself around last summer and confused the hell out of me - see here).
My ideal sleeping spot used to be between the humans, half way between the pillows and their feet. There, closest to the centre of this raised platform, I didn't get snored on, didn't get kicked, and occasionally got an arm tucked around me.
If I felt like doing long cat there was room to completely stretch out, and if I stretched far enough i could still maintain contact with both humans, even after I had pushed them to the very edges of the bed.
That was the old bed. The new bed is smaller (in a much smaller room). The humans resist being pushed to the full extent of my 'long cat' and it's cramping my style, so I've developed a new strategy. I sleep a little further down the bed. I tuck myself behind knees making it impossible for humans to roll over and amuse myself with their contortions when they try.
F pulls her knees up to her tummy and tries to thread her legs down the other side of me. I've wised up to that; it leaves me closest to the edge and we can't have that. As soon as she starts the repositioning manoeuvre I casually do long cat and do 'being heavily and unwakeably asleep' and she's then stuck doing 'round human' in half the length of bed, with Mr B hemming in the other side. She's usually too sleepy to work out what's going on and just wriggles about for a while.
Long cat, crosswise, halfway down the bed. It's the only way to go.
Hari om
ReplyDeleteMOL...OMC Tigger this had me wriggling and giggling as I recalled sharing my bed with the Js. A queen size bed and I was always bordering on a visit to the floor. Jasper cat ensured minimum pillow space (for me) and Jade dog pawfected the curl into the knees trick. Sometimes I managed the knee tuck and repositional to diagonal myself... hugs and whiskeries, YAM-aunty xxx
you have put into words, why no dog is allowed on our bed. Max our first dog knew your tricks, he tormented me for 16 years, the next 5 dogs it is a no. also why i once tried a cat, many years ago, I could not train the cat to stay off the bed... this story made me giggle, i can SEE it happening. I love cats truly I do, but love sleep also. in my old age, a sneeze makes we wake and then i cant go back to sleep...
ReplyDeleteLovely explanation. Actually, brilliant.
ReplyDeleteYes funny how cats like to take up as much space as they can, Mr Cat has taken a liking to one of our suitcases on the bedroom floor, no idea why, it doesn't look very comfy.
ReplyDeleteTrust me Amy, we cats sometimes like being 'tucked in' to close spaces. I have a small drawer from an old bedside cabinet that I can fold myself into. regards Mr T
DeleteIt is nearly three years (three long years I might add) since I (and The Golfer) had the pleasure of twisting and turning and moving about the bed.....(that should read had the pleasure of sharing a bed) ....accompanied with a cat. I miss it. Stress relief on four legs.
ReplyDeleteDear Cathy, what is Australia like? F just suggested that I might like to move there.... Do you have a garden with trees? Mr T.
DeleteWhat a great post - I am still laughing! That is so typical of a cat :))
ReplyDeleteWe make our cat stay downstairs. At least that way if there is anything to clean up it's not in the bedroom.
ReplyDeleteI refuse to be locked out of anywhere and tear the paint off the doors if any human tries it. I know I must not mess where we sleep - under any circumstances.
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